khatru

I write this about 6:15 pm my time, trying to figure out what I'd done all day.

I sat down in my hobby room this morning, with 'I should do bills' as my concept. So far I have

1. Fetched my smaller-box-of-pills-I'm-taking from the storage room
   
2. Fetched the brita pitcher from the bathroom
   
3. Filled the kettle and turned it on
   
4. Refilled the brita pitcher
   
5. set up the mugs with gypsy cold care, vita 'genius', and teapot with 'scottish breakfast'
   
6. set up the soup mug with canned veggie soup to mix boiling water into
   
7. made 3 ham&cheese roll-ups (1 slice ham, 1 slice swiss, 1 line mustard on an angle, roll)
   
8. poured boiling water into 2 mugs and teapot
   
9. realized i didn't have enough water left for soup
   
10. refilled kettle and turned it on
    
11. Refilled brita pitcher
    
12. eaten protein rolls
    
13. Poured water into soup
    
14. set up my pills for the week
    
15. taken my morning pills
    
16. ate soup, while I
    
17. fussed with email (triaging 'don't need to read', 'should read but later', and 'just delete')
    
18. put my fill-pillpods-from-this-box away
    
19. noticed the bag of refilled meds on the table in the storage room, and fussed with putting my cache of pills in order again (trying to have oldest most grabbable, and have small space for it, so had to reset a few times as I knocked things over, fortunately not to the floor)
    
20. Brought the containers of one set of migraine meds (maxalt), into the hobby room (some of which were ziploc baggies of 9 pills (what I can get a month), some of which are in small boxes labeled for 9 pills)
    
21. Spent time writing the filled-dates in large marker on the baggies, and the boxes
    
22. Belatedly realized that there were actually only 2 expiry dates
    
23. re-ordered them by expiry date rather than prescription-filled date (all the ones in baggies were the same date, so they all went into one baggie with the expiry date on it, and all the boxes got individually dated because they are too tight a fit to be combined)
    
24. fussed with email and read some patreon-sent comics
    
25. Remembered I wanted to look up the stuff the orthopedist put into my knee and looked up knee gel injections
    
26. Realized I was clearly not remembering the name of the stuff correctly.
    
27. Remembered, halfway through writing a patient portal message to the doc office asking about it, that I had recorded the session (because they wouldn't let me have anyone else there to help me remember)
    
28. Spent 10 minutes listening to it, to get the name and the bit of convo with my questions after
    
29. Found it online and read around for a bit
    
30. Stumbled across Psoriatic Arthritis references, and fell into that rabbit hole for a bit (apparently it correllates with everything else I have, and no one's figured out if there's any cause or all just correlation
    
31. remembered bills!
    
32. opened a bunch of snail mail, one of which was from the 529 account we never touched for Younger Child
    
33. looked up what to do if you don't use the 529 moneys that were saved, took a while to find anything useful, and read around a little
    
34. Found a package of a Kickstarter reward in the mail. Opened it, found d&d miniatures.
    
35. Found no indication who it was from. Looked in email for what it likely was. Checked them over to make sure they survived the trip across the pond, and that I got them all.
    
36. Re-read some of the updates
    
37. Decided the tummy weirdness was maybe hungry
    
38. Pulled bread from freezer, put in toaster
    
39. Found a sweater, cause maybe the fidgets are thermal discomfort
    
40. Asked for butter to be brought upstairs cause I was out
    
41. Commented on the campaign that I received them
    
42. fussed with email, sorting emails relating to that campaign into the 'Completely Done' folder
    
43. Finally butter was delivered, ate lukewarm toast
    
44. opened some more mail, some of which were bills that I noted and set into the pile to deal with
    
45. 3 of which were bank statements, of which 1 was long (brokerage) and I tried to read, 1 that confused me (previously dormant savings account suddenly sending reports again), 1 useful.
    
46. One of which was another Kickstarter package, of a gmless one-shot rpg that was much easier to find in my mail
    
47. Commented that i received it, thank you
    
48. fussed with email, sorting emails relating to that campaign into the 'Completely Done' folder
    
49. 20 minutes after I ate toast I was EVEN HUNGRIER, so asked for and got hot dogs, eventually by 4:30pm
    
50. took my 4pm pills
    
51. Opened up a letter from my cobra company, looked up what to do when cobra ends
    
52. Remembered bills BEFORE going down that rabbit hole!
    
53. Opened a bunch of snail mail and realized I wasn't finding some that I was pretty sure were already put on the hobby room table
    
54. talked on discord about a house in new hampshire
    
55. realized Elder Child was probably asleep
    
56. talked to Younger Child about dinner
    
57. ordered chinese
    
58. Found the rest of the bills under a box as I was talking to YC
    
59. And then it was 6:30 and I needed to go set up to play wow.
    

No bills were dealt with.

Remember I said it was morning when I sat down? It was 7:30 am when I sat down at the table, figuring to do bills. ("Do" in this sense is: open mail, note moneys due and when on envelope, note same in ledger book, write check, note moneys sent and when check written in ledger book, address/return address envelope, reconcile checkbook, put it all away.) I wanted to have the bills mailed today.

And yes, I've broken it down that finely because it really really felt like each of those was an actual step. As in, I have to think about it to do it. I am so. Tired. Of. Brain. Fog.

I played 3.5 hours of WoW, realized I was brainfried, thought about going to bed, and noticed as I stared at my screen that I'd sent the above writing to myself to post here from my desktop, cause I can't recall my password to login to DW on my laptop, which is what's in the hobby room. It's now 1:45 am. I actually *woke up* around 5am, after restless sleep all night.

It's getting to the nonfunctional time of year. Otter's Mom died Oct 28; Otter and my anniversary is Oct 30; no family around to celebrate my birthday on Nov 19, or do thanksgiving with. Can't even go visit folks for post-thanksgiving weekend. Otter died on Dec 8, My dad died on Dec 23, and I am somehow to make sure I have new insurance post-december 31, when I don't even know exactly what I'm getting from Social Security yet - I was 'approved medically' but 'still deciding non-medically' and what the fuck is even that. Do I get money or not? WHEN?

I swear, I need a personal assistant. Someoen I can say, "this needs to happen" and it will.

Fuck, I forgot to take my foodless pills. And midnight pills.

I need to ask C to keep poking me when he gets up, so I at least have the possibility of choosing to get up and do things, rather than not waking up more than possibly groggily to take my pills, and then sleeping again till 2pm. Once it's that late, it feels futile to try and do anything. Which is wrong, but need to recall that there are things I need to do that don't involve calling businesses.

Getting stuff done on wow, tho.

I don't have the mental energy to actually try to figure out how much carbs is in every meal we eat. I want to eat fewer, but it requires too much thought.