khatru

Wednesda - wednesday? - I had that lovely phone call with the life insurance company. The subsequent phone call with the mortgage company went even less well, as apparently they don't have any means within their system to account for the concept of 'partial payment'. All they do is hold the money until/unless they have enough to count as a payment. If this happens before their system instigates foreclosure, all well and good. Otherwise, they send the money back and it's in foreclosure. I had a small bout of hysterics, and have been hiding in bed (somewhat literally) ever since.

This morning I was actually awake at 7am ish. Took my pills, sat up poking at phone games till C came up to tell me it was 11am or so. I actually lay back down cause I was feeling tired-ish, and after a half hour gave up and came downstairs so I wouldn't be alone. I've done some useful things:

Detailed list so I feel better about it

• ate late lunch
  
• record bank activity into my ledger book so I can correlate more information
  
• wrote out checks for att, oil, allergy shot copay,
  
• asked R to take care of bullshit forms for the day
  
• Signed forms for life insurance, Otter's ashes to be returned (sooner than anticipated)
  
• recorded new bill/payment info into ledger
  
• Consulted with R regarding dinner, pulling a recipe from my childhood that was tagged interesting
  
• Fell asleep while R made dinner
  
• Eventually woke up and ate delicious dinner, discussed/evaluated with R, deemed a success by both. Even C went back for seconds.
  
• Gave up being downstairs and came upstairs.
  

Failed on:
currently trying to get the impetus for
filling out forms for 401k
filling out forms for TIAA pension

Now to see if I can manage to play wow today. If not, Diablo.

Since Chessiecon, I've had no mental energy. I spent 2 days with a migraine that suddenly left (and hasn't even been lurking)... 3 days, it started Sunday at Chessiecon ... And when Otter decided he wanted to go out Ingressing while it was still double AP to push for L11, I was all rah rah let's go. But otherwise... I'm randomly falling asleep. I sit on the edge of the bed and see no reason to bother shifting stuff around to get onto the computer. (I've acquired some collection of crap that ends up living either on the computer chair or the bed, depending on which I'm inhabiting. It involves moving in a slightly bent over position, yes, that one, exactly, that stresses the back out unduly, and is why I haven't been able to do dishes by hand for ages.) And when I do, finally, do so, I read atlas obscura, or cruise imgur, or go back a few years in someone's blog and read forward (ursula vernon's stuff on her own website, currently). Launching wow is too irritating.

I'd be happy to play a game iwht someone. R doesn't really find it interesting, and is sick with con-crud anyway. Otter is having sitting/laying down/existing problems with his back, and the last two days his right had has suddenly started aching progressively, and he's on skype with his gaming buddies, anyway. C is on the computer with his skype/roll20/whatever friends.

This is why I used to go out Friday nights. To go be with people, to find some sparkle or interest. Even when all I'd do is sit in the Adult Club and watch other people, cause I had no one of my own to do anything with, I'd at least turn it into writing practice, decribing the activities and finding new turns of phrase.

I don't have anyone to tease me out of my house. I can't shower (well) on my own, and would be achy enough from doing so that I wouldn't really want to drive. Not that I've driven in years, from said achyness, and not knowing if I'd have a pain flare from trying and be unable to grip the steering wheel, or move adequately to safely drive home. I can't pick up my toybag, which is now a toy storage container, cause the bag had holes in it and I don't have anyone to use it with anymore and don't need to have it available.

I don't want to be sitting here alone with nothing I want to do, but going anywhere else in the house isn't going to change it. And trying to write is just going to spiral down into a chuckhole of shit, like this is doing.

Done now.